{"id":2807,"date":"2018-03-14T05:00:29","date_gmt":"2018-03-14T12:00:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/salesfolk.com\/blog\/?p=2807"},"modified":"2018-03-14T16:39:03","modified_gmt":"2018-03-14T23:39:03","slug":"clearslides-latest-sales-email-murky-heres-fix","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/salesfolk.com\/blog\/clearslides-latest-sales-email-murky-heres-fix\/","title":{"rendered":"ClearSlide\u2019s Latest Sales Email Is Murky. Here\u2019s How to Fix It"},"content":{"rendered":"

Even companies with established reputations and Fortune 500 clients have to learn the craft of sending a good cold email\u2014and be wary of the bad ones.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sales engagement platform ClearSlide obviously didn\u2019t get that memo, if its latest message is anything to go by:<\/span>
\n\"ClearSlide\"<\/p>\n

I\u2019m a big fan of ClearSlide\u2019s sales automation tools, which is what makes this email so disappointing. Its generic nature leaves a terrible first impression on readers and damages the sender\u2019s reputation in the process. The message is also filled with phrases that mean nothing and offer no value to me. And while many wouldn\u2019t read past the subject line, I delve into the specifics here because, start to finish, this is a great example of how unappealing and forgettable a message can become in such a vague email.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s take a deeper look:<\/span><\/p>\n

1. The subject line is forgettable.<\/b><\/h3>\n

The subject \u201cClearSlide and your goals\u201d fails to use basic tactics for subject lines, which is to appeal to people\u2019s wants, needs, or fears about their business. \u201cYour goals\u201d could apply to my business, but it could just as easily go to a software developer or a coffee bean wholesaler. Such a lack of focus makes the subject line far from enticing, and any prospect, regardless of their profession, will likely glaze over this. ClearSlide has plenty of different features that they could easily turn into exciting benefits that would make their subject line pop. <\/span><\/p>\n

2. The opening line is cryptic.<\/b><\/h3>\n

The opener makes me wonder whether ClearSlide is being intentionally cryptic or if the sender is just plain lazy. \u201cStay professionally top of mind\u201d isn\u2019t even a cliche; it\u2019s a bunch of words flung together that collectively have no meaning.\u00a0And \u201chelp you in being responsible for all key business initiatives\u201d is also vague and confusing. Key initiatives mean different things to different roles.\u00a0Mine will not be the same as the coffee bean seller, and it\u2019s a huge turnoff when the email doesn\u2019t make that distinction.<\/span><\/p>\n

3. The sender didn\u2019t research me or my business.<\/b><\/h3>\n

As far as the rest of this email goes, there\u2019s nothing in here that tells me the problems ClearSlide solves or what benefits the service could give\u2014to me or anyone else getting the message. The email tries, by explaining that ClearSlide helped other companies \u201cengage with the right content at the right time.\u201d That said, the message fails to tell us what the result of that engagement was, which makes the entire sentence pretty pointless. And how does the sender even know if I even care about content? They don\u2019t, and it\u2019s clear they took no time to research me or my company before sending this email.<\/span><\/p>\n

4. The call to action wants me to do extra work.<\/b><\/h3>\n

This would be a perfectly fine CTA had the sender left out the second sentence. When you aren\u2019t 100 percent sure who the correct person for your pitch is, go back and do more research. Asking me to supply the person feels like extra work. It\u2019s especially discourteous when the email is so vague it\u2019s impossible for the recipient to know who the right person would be.<\/span><\/p>\n

5. Bonus: The included GIF is distracting and borderline unprofessional. <\/b><\/h3>\n

The animated GIF (you can only see a still here) included in this email is a huge no-no for cold email. It\u2019s distracting, and it immediately indicates a mass-marketing email. I may have taken the time to read through and dissect this email, but that\u2019s part of what we do at SalesFolk. Most recipients would take on look at the GIF and delete the entire message without so much as a second glance.<\/span><\/p>\n

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