{"id":570,"date":"2014-11-06T05:03:51","date_gmt":"2014-11-06T13:03:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/salesfolk.com\/?p=570"},"modified":"2015-10-07T20:45:35","modified_gmt":"2015-10-08T03:45:35","slug":"5-reasons-why-this-b2b-cold-email-sucks-how-to-fix-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/salesfolk.com\/blog\/5-reasons-why-this-b2b-cold-email-sucks-how-to-fix-it\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Reasons Why This B2B Cold Email Sucks & How to Fix It"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"i<\/a><\/p>\n

How many times have you received a cold email so terrible that you wanted to literally Laugh Out Loud<\/em> or even cry?<\/p>\n

In the business of cold email copywriting, I see them all the time.<\/p>\n

Both from prospective clients and in my own Inbox.<\/p>\n

And they either make me want to scream or laugh so hard that I have to run to the bathroom.<\/p>\n

I usually save the really bad cold emails I receive in my Inbox and forward them to friends and colleagues with a few tips of what not to do. Other times if I\u2019m feeling nice, I respond to\u00a0the cold emailer with a few pieces of advice.<\/p>\n

With all these terrible cold emails piling up in my Inbox, I\u2019ve decided I\u2019m going to go on a full crusade<\/em> to fix this problem at its source,\u00a0and start a weekly anonymous cold email critique<\/b>.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s my first one: (I hope you learn something so your emails don\u2019t end up on here!<\/i>)<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

\"bad<\/a><\/p>\n

Cold Email Mistake #1: Losing Their Attention With a Weak Introduction Sentence<\/h3>\n

“I just wanted to briefly introduce you a \u00a0tech company that that you may not have heard of\u2014COMPANY X.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

This is what I call \u201cwimpy language<\/strong>.\u201d<\/p>\n

It doesn\u2019t catch my attention or excite me at all.<\/p>\n

No one wants to read through an apologetic or self-defeatist cold email, especially in the intro. Maybe I haven\u2019t heard of your company, but that\u2019s not what\u2019s really important.<\/p>\n

Tell me why your product is fantastic and how it will help me solve my problems<\/em> early in your cold email.<\/p>\n

Cold Email Mistake #2: Confusing Prospects with a Rambly Value Proposition<\/h3>\n

“COMPANY X\u00a0will announce a new version tomorrow. \u00a0The full release and infographic are below.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

You should be able to explain your product and it\u2019s value prop in one sentence.<\/p>\n

NEVER ask the prospect to look \u201cbelow,\u201d especially in an email. Once you do that, you\u2019ve just lost them. Your prospects don\u2019t have the time or attention span to scroll through an essay about your product. (They had an awkward and wordy newsletter below that I won’t include because it gives away the emailer.)<\/p>\n

Tell them what it is and how it will help me in as few words as possible.<\/p>\n

Cold Email Mistake #3: Listing Boring Features Instead of Your Most Powerful Benefits<\/h3>\n

“With this new version, COMPANY X\u00a0has created a feature that is unique in CRM technology. We call it 1-to-Many with Any. This clever engineering allows users to associate one FEATURE-FEATURE-FEATURE.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Your prospects don\u2019t want to hear all the ins and outs of your entire product. They want to know that you understand their pain points and have a solution for them. Product centric copy fails to target specific personas, decreasing the likelihood of a positive response.<\/p>\n

Stop sending the same mass email to every persona on your list, and take some time to research the personas you plan on targeting. CEOs and VP of Sales have different concerns and your emails should be tailored to reflect their unique needs.<\/p>\n

Cold Email Mistake #4: Lazy About Checking for Grammar or Spelling Errors<\/h3>\n

Same part of the email here, but different issue:<\/p>\n

One of the many downsides to outsourcing your outbound emails to Odesk or foreign workers is the potential for grammatical and spelling mistakes. Whether you\u2019re a native English speaker or not, have someone with a strong command of the English language proofread your cold emails before you send them out.<\/p>\n

Having an extra pair of eyes makes a huge difference in catching grammatical errors.<\/p>\n

And when it comes to cold email, how do you expect a C-level prospect to \u00a0trust you with their business goals if you have grammar or spelling mistakes?<\/p>\n

Cold Email Mistake #5: Treating a Cold Email like a Gimmicky Marketing Email<\/h3>\n

“This means that users have context for today\u2019s complex relationships<\/strong>. This \u201cPeople First\u201d approach is geared to the way business has evolved, with people moving from company to company and job to job.“<\/b><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Bold or enlarged text is a lazy alternative to powerfully persuasive email copywriting.<\/p>\n

Font gimmicks are dead giveaways that your cold email is a generic and mass-delivered.<\/p>\n

Writing cold emails is not the same thing as writing the marketing copy for your drip campaigns.<\/p>\n

While customizing mass emails may seem daunting at first, a few personalized touches will give \u00a0your copy a fighting chance for good open and response rates.<\/p>\n

Keep your email copy short and conversational.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t write long drawn out paragraphs that explain every detail about your company and all your product\u2019s features. Remember, the goal of your outbound campaign is only to get prospects on the phone, not to close the deal.<\/p>\n

Using jargon that adds no value like \u201cpeople first\u201d with bloated sentences that overcomplicate your copy and distract from your message aren\u2019t helping you convert prospects into qualified leads.<\/p>\n

Also,\u00a0it would be more powerful and credible to demonstrate that you’re “people first,” instead of just stating this passively.<\/p>\n

My Cold Email Advice to Help You Write Better Cold Emails<\/h3>\n

PRO TIP #1:<\/b> Write your mass cold email template as if you were writing an email to a single person. Pick someone from your list and do some research on them to get ideas of what benefits you want to mention, etc.<\/p>\n

PRO TIP #2:<\/b> Be straightforward about your product and how it will help make your prospect\u2019s life easier.<\/p>\n

PRO TIP #3:<\/b> Do add customized inserts like, {!First_Name} and {!Company} to give your emails a more personalized feeling.<\/p>\n

PS: If you have some terrible cold emails sitting around in your inbox that you\u2019d like to share with me to anonymously critique, please shoot an email to Haley (at) Salesfolk (dot) com.<\/p>\n

(If you\u2019re up for it, I\u2019ll even give you a free critique of your own email on here anonymously!)<\/i><\/p>\n

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