How well do your cold emails flow?

Do they guide prospects through your message with ease, or are your prospects getting stuck by barriers of pointless information?

Bloated paragraphs and long winded pitches discourage your prospects from finishing your message. Your prospects are never going to respond if they can’t even get through your cold email.

So if you’re padding your cold emails with useless jargon and filler sentences, here are a few reasons this extra fluff is weighing down your messages.

#1) Boring your prospects with unnecessary introductions

I just wanted to briefly introduce you a  tech company that that you may not have heard of—[Company Name].    [Company Name] offers a  fresh, new visualization of the traditional sales pipeline.

Your prospects are busy people. You only have a few seconds to grab their attention and lure them in. Including unnecessary information like your name or your background, doesn’t offer any benefit to your prospects.

Think of your cold email messages as prime real estate: Why waste valuable space on needless junk?

Every line of your cold emails should be adding value to your prospects in some way.

If you don’t open with an intriguing line that captivates eyeballs, your prospects are most likely going to get bored and give up before they even reach your call to action.

ProTip #1:Engage your prospects with a thought provoking question

I was wondering what {{company_name}} was doing to achieve their sales goals.

Instead of using the first sentence of your cold email to formally introduce yourself, try engaging your prospects on a more personal level. Ask them a question that will make them think about their pain points. Getting your prospects to think about their problems lays the groundwork for you to offer them a easy solution. The more relevant the question is to your prospects business, the more likely it’ll resonate with them.

#2) Cramming too many features into your message

Some notable features include:   

-[NAME] Data Types

-[NAME] Search 2.0 (Distributed SOLR)

-Strong Consistency

-Security

-Simplified Configuration Management

-Bucket Types

Your prospects’ inboxes are full of cold email messages that drone on endlessly. Most emails are all too eager to show off all their bells and whistles. Listing out all your product’s features though, can overwhelm your prospects and leave them unsure of how your product can actually help them.

The more facts and figures you throw at your prospects, the more likely you are to confuse them. If you want to leave an impression in the minds of your prospects, give them short, simple messages that speak to them and not at them.

ProTip #2: Choose only one value proposition per email to highlight

Our clients have used our sales gamification platform to leverage their existing sales data to build competitions that have doubled their daily outbound sales calls per rep.

Avoid relying on your features to illustrate your value. Give your prospects a message that they can relate to. Benefit-focused messages help your prospects see the real-world value of your product. By providing context, your prospects can see that your product isn’t just faster, better, stronger, but will help improve their business in a way that they can actualize.

#3) Overwhelming your prospects with too much information

[URL link]

Above is a link to an article that references the 64 question [Company Name] which helps you gain insight to your company’s true Safety Culture as well as calculates your specific Risk-Score. Your Risk-Score is used as part of the comprehensive marketing of your account to the Insurance Marketplace.

More isn’t always better when it comes to cold emails. The key to piquing your prospects’ interests and hooking them in is keeping them focused on your core message.

The more external links, PDFs, videos and graphics you include, the more likely your prospects are to become distracted. Any time you direct your prospects away from your message, you risk losing them altogether.

Remember, you only need to get them on the phone.

Once you their attention, you can explain your product in greater detail.

ProTip #3: Keep your messages short and sweet

We also provide leaderboards that help [2-Client example] monitor their bottom and top sales performers by rank with a weighted sales score.

A full cold email campaign should include 8 touches, so don’t feel pressured to include every blog post and white paper your company has ever published in your first email.

Not all of your prospects are going to respond to the same message or the same approach. Focusing on a single value proposition in each email allows you to test and optimize your message for maximum impact.

Remember, your cold emails should be no longer than 2-5 sentences. Any longer, and your prospects will lose interest in what you have to say.

#4) Rambling about how awesome you are with no proof whatsoever

I had NO expectations to rank anywhere near the top of Amazon… especially in a big category with guys like Tony Robbins, Gary Vaynerchuk, and Peter Thiel. (But I guess I underestimate the power of my own network  sometimes… 🙂

Your prospects don’t want to hear about how great you are. They’re only interested in how you can help make their lives easier.

Vanity is a huge a turn off, especially for your prospects. Everyone wants to feel special, and your prospects are no different. Instead of creating messages that are all about you, center your messages on your prospects and their needs.

A genuine message builds a sense of ease and comfortableness between you and your prospects and makes it easier for them to say yes.

ProTip #4: Give your prospects the promise of value

We’ve helped companies like[Client A] and  [Client B] increase and maintain their sales team’s numbers by implementing incentives across their sales funnel, and I believe the same concept could work for {!Company}.

It’s ok to point out your successes, but make sure you have the evidence to backup your claims.

If you want your prospects to invest their time and money with you, they need to know that your product actually works. Including a social proof sentence that highlights a case study or specific performance statistic helps show that you can add real value, and that you’re not full of crap.

Want more tips on cold emails?

Come to my talk at Inside Sales’ Sales Acceleration Summit on May 7th and hear me tell 5 secrets about cold email that I don’t regularly share. It’s totally free, and there are a bunch of other great speakers like Jill Konrath, Lincoln Murphy, Trish Bertuzzi, Aaron Ross, and more….so you should definitely come.

See you there!?