Scalable email templates that feel like personalized one-on-one messages

Where Bad Cold Emails Go to Die

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How many new cold emails did you get this morning?

If you’re like most people, you probably have dozens, if not hundreds, of cold emails sitting around in your inbox. Unfortunately most of these cold emails aren’t very good, and are a general waste of everyone’s time. You waste time reading them, deleting them, and some are just downright painful to read.

Until now, there’s been zero purpose for these crummy cold emails, but that’s changing now.

Finally, there’s a place for all the worst cold emails, and that’s Salesfolk’s “Cold Email Hall of Shame.”

recycle cold emails

I created the Hall of Shame because:

  1. I’m tired of people tarnishing inside sales and cold email with thoughtless, lazy, poorly crafted emails.
  2. People keep spamming this garbage because no one calls them out on it.
  3. Everyone can improve their cold emails by learning what NOT to do.
  4. I honestly find terrible cold emails extremely humorous.

So if you have any terrible cold emails sitting around in your inbox, please send them to [email protected].  (All submissions will be published anonymously!)

Not sure what qualifies as a bad email for the Hall of Shame?

Here’s some criteria for bad cold email nominations:

  • Vain and self-focused (sounds a lot like a monologue or bad dating profile)

vain and self focused cold emails

  • Absurd and ridiculous claims that cannot possibly be true 

incredible and unbelievable sales pitch

  • Corny sales tactics from the 90’s (or later) that make you cringe as you read them

bad corny sales tactics

  • Overly aggressive or obnoxious

geoffry overly aggressive sales

  • Extremely impersonal (you can’t tell if a robot wrote this)

impersonal cold email like a robot

  • Strange and confusing (what’s the point of this email?!)

strange and confusing cold email

  • Adds absolutely NO value

useless-fliers-2

…I can’t wait to see your submissions! Happy cold emailing!

4 Ways Fluff Bloats Your Cold Emails

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fluff bloats cold emails

How well do your cold emails flow?

Do they guide prospects through your message with ease, or are your prospects getting stuck by barriers of pointless information?

Bloated paragraphs and long winded pitches discourage your prospects from finishing your message. Your prospects are never going to respond if they can’t even get through your cold email.

So if you’re padding your cold emails with useless jargon and filler sentences, here are a few reasons this extra fluff is weighing down your messages.

#1) Boring your prospects with unnecessary introductions

I just wanted to briefly introduce you a  tech company that that you may not have heard of—[Company Name].    [Company Name] offers a  fresh, new visualization of the traditional sales pipeline.

Your prospects are busy people. You only have a few seconds to grab their attention and lure them in. Including unnecessary information like your name or your background, doesn’t offer any benefit to your prospects.

Think of your cold email messages as prime real estate: Why waste valuable space on needless junk?

Every line of your cold emails should be adding value to your prospects in some way.

If you don’t open with an intriguing line that captivates eyeballs, your prospects are most likely going to get bored and give up before they even reach your call to action.

ProTip #1:Engage your prospects with a thought provoking question

I was wondering what {{company_name}} was doing to achieve their sales goals.

Instead of using the first sentence of your cold email to formally introduce yourself, try engaging your prospects on a more personal level. Ask them a question that will make them think about their pain points. Getting your prospects to think about their problems lays the groundwork for you to offer them a easy solution. The more relevant the question is to your prospects business, the more likely it’ll resonate with them.

#2) Cramming too many features into your message

Some notable features include:   

-[NAME] Data Types

-[NAME] Search 2.0 (Distributed SOLR)

-Strong Consistency

-Security

-Simplified Configuration Management

-Bucket Types

Your prospects’ inboxes are full of cold email messages that drone on endlessly. Most emails are all too eager to show off all their bells and whistles. Listing out all your product’s features though, can overwhelm your prospects and leave them unsure of how your product can actually help them.

The more facts and figures you throw at your prospects, the more likely you are to confuse them. If you want to leave an impression in the minds of your prospects, give them short, simple messages that speak to them and not at them.

ProTip #2: Choose only one value proposition per email to highlight

Our clients have used our sales gamification platform to leverage their existing sales data to build competitions that have doubled their daily outbound sales calls per rep.

Avoid relying on your features to illustrate your value. Give your prospects a message that they can relate to. Benefit-focused messages help your prospects see the real-world value of your product. By providing context, your prospects can see that your product isn’t just faster, better, stronger, but will help improve their business in a way that they can actualize.

#3) Overwhelming your prospects with too much information

[URL link]

Above is a link to an article that references the 64 question [Company Name] which helps you gain insight to your company’s true Safety Culture as well as calculates your specific Risk-Score. Your Risk-Score is used as part of the comprehensive marketing of your account to the Insurance Marketplace.

More isn’t always better when it comes to cold emails. The key to piquing your prospects’ interests and hooking them in is keeping them focused on your core message.

The more external links, PDFs, videos and graphics you include, the more likely your prospects are to become distracted. Any time you direct your prospects away from your message, you risk losing them altogether.

Remember, you only need to get them on the phone.

Once you their attention, you can explain your product in greater detail.

ProTip #3: Keep your messages short and sweet

We also provide leaderboards that help [2-Client example] monitor their bottom and top sales performers by rank with a weighted sales score.

A full cold email campaign should include 8 touches, so don’t feel pressured to include every blog post and white paper your company has ever published in your first email.

Not all of your prospects are going to respond to the same message or the same approach. Focusing on a single value proposition in each email allows you to test and optimize your message for maximum impact.

Remember, your cold emails should be no longer than 2-5 sentences. Any longer, and your prospects will lose interest in what you have to say.

#4) Rambling about how awesome you are with no proof whatsoever

I had NO expectations to rank anywhere near the top of Amazon… especially in a big category with guys like Tony Robbins, Gary Vaynerchuk, and Peter Thiel. (But I guess I underestimate the power of my own network  sometimes… 🙂

Your prospects don’t want to hear about how great you are. They’re only interested in how you can help make their lives easier.

Vanity is a huge a turn off, especially for your prospects. Everyone wants to feel special, and your prospects are no different. Instead of creating messages that are all about you, center your messages on your prospects and their needs.

A genuine message builds a sense of ease and comfortableness between you and your prospects and makes it easier for them to say yes.

ProTip #4: Give your prospects the promise of value

We’ve helped companies like[Client A] and  [Client B] increase and maintain their sales team’s numbers by implementing incentives across their sales funnel, and I believe the same concept could work for {!Company}.

It’s ok to point out your successes, but make sure you have the evidence to backup your claims.

If you want your prospects to invest their time and money with you, they need to know that your product actually works. Including a social proof sentence that highlights a case study or specific performance statistic helps show that you can add real value, and that you’re not full of crap.

Want more tips on cold emails?

Come to my talk at Inside Sales’ Sales Acceleration Summit on May 7th and hear me tell 5 secrets about cold email that I don’t regularly share. It’s totally free, and there are a bunch of other great speakers like Jill Konrath, Lincoln Murphy, Trish Bertuzzi, Aaron Ross, and more….so you should definitely come.

See you there!?

How to Write the WORST cold email ever

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Are you tired of writing great cold emails that get responses?

Would you like to get less qualified leads than you could ever imagine?

Or do you just want to start getting that infamous reputation of a spammer, and maybe even tarnish your brand with extremely crappy cold emails?

You’ve come to the right place then!

This is the guide that can help you write the WORST cold email ever!

Enjoy!

APRIL FOOLS!

worst cold email ever

Why Zenefits’ Cold Emails Lose Their Prospects

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lose prospects

Are your cold email messages actively engaging your prospects, or just putting them to sleep?

Even awesome companies like Zenefits can improve their cold email copy. Recently many CEOs have forwarded me the cold emails Zenefits has been sending them, asking me to critique them in my next post. All the prospects who have received these cold emails from Zenefits have complained that they are too vague and incredibly dull.

This week’s cold email critique will be dedicated to helping Zenefits improve their cold email campaigns by making their messages more benefit-driven and relevant to their prospects.

Here’s the cold email Zenefits sent:

zenefits cold email critique

Mistake #1: Don’t Lose Prospects with Boring, Generic Cold Email Intros

“Hope 2015 has been treating you well! My CEO Parker just shot me a note to see if we could reconnect –  I know you were evaluating Zenefits last year and I just wanted to see if a quick chat would make sense.”

Your introduction’s goal is to hook prospects and keep them fully engaged in your message. Each sentence of your cold email should make your prospects want to keep reading. Boring intros like this one, do nothing to excite or intrigue prospects. When your prospects feel like there’s nothing in it for them on the other end of your email, they’re going to give up and hit the delete button.

If you want to warm up your prospects, you need to put them at ease. You need to convince them that reading and responding to your email is worth their time. Nothing turns off your prospects more than another crappy canned cold email message. Your prospects will be more open to your message if it has a conversational tone. Most people have their guard up against salesy or gimmicky marketing pitches, but you can lower their defenses by taking a more human tone that feels like a one-on-one message.

Cold Email Pro Tip #1: Everyone loves to have their ego stroked. Instead of starting your cold emails with a self-serving angle, compliment your prospects or ask them an intelligent question that speaks to their role/expertise. Taking an ounce of interest in what your prospects think, feel and care about goes a long ways toward getting more responses.

(For more tips on writing engaging cold email introductions, check out this post.)

Mistake #2: Turning Off Prospects With Self-Focused Messages

“Since we last spoke in 2014, we’ve hit some major milestones in our growth – We got recognized as the Hottest Startup of 2014 (Forbes article) and the fastest growing insurance brokerage in the nation.”

Your prospects don’t care about how many awards you’ve won or the number of milestones you’ve achieved. They only care about how your product can help improve their business or life.

No one likes a show off, so avoid talking too much about yourself or your company. Remember, it’s not about you; it’s about the customer. Your prospects want to see that you understand their business and the issues they face on a daily basis. Focusing on yourself comes across as obnoxious and disingenuous, which turns your prospects off completely.

Pro Tip #2: Give your prospects a message they can relate to. Put yourself in your prospects’ shoes, and think about who your ideal buyer persona is. Considering these questions before you begin your campaign will help you develop messages that speak directly to your prospects and their needs:

What are the buyer’s pain points?

How will this person benefit from my product or service?

How will they use they use my product?

Are there any objections this person might have to prevent them from responding or buying?

(For more tips on avoiding vanity in your cold emails, check out this post.)

Mistake #3: Overwhelming Your Prospects With Too Much Information

“In addition, we’ve released a wider portfolio of benefit services (401k, FSA, commuter, etc.) and have added a number of new features to our platform (PTO tracking, time&attendance, stock options, etc.).”

Everyone gets excited about new products and features, but focusing too heavily on these distracts from your core message. Don’t try to do too much with your cold emails. The longer your emails drag on, the more likely your prospects will become bored and give up.

Your prospects aren’t impressed by all the sleek new bells and whistles your product has to offer. They only want to know how your product is going to help make their lives easier. People don’t have time to read and wade their way through jargon. Don’t waste your time or the readers, and just focus each email on one short and sweet killer benefit. Remove all the other fluff – it doesn’t add value, and actually decreases your chance of getting a response.

Cold Email Pro Tip #3: If you’re relying on bullet points to get your point across, you’re doing it wrong. Resist the urge to list out all your product’s features. Just choose one feature/benefit and focus your entire message on that thing, and how it adds value.

You don’t have to go full-kimono and reveal everything on the first email. All you have to do is get them to respond; you can explain more on the phone after you get that “first date.”

Mistake #4: Show Your Prospects Your Value, Don’t Tell.

“I’d love to demonstrate how can help streamline your redundant processes, keep your company in Obamacare compliance and save your team a ton of time on administrative work. I know you’re busy now, especially with wrapping up the week, but would you be available to reconnect sometime this month?”

Your prospects’ inboxes are full of cold emails claiming to help save time and increase productivity. So, how can you make your cold emails stand out from the rest? Instead of telling your prospects how awesome your product is, prove it to them.

If I was reading this email from Zenefits and had no idea who they were, I would be skeptical of all the things they were promising. If I was their prospect, this is what I would think:

“Does this startup have any customers or results that show the value they’ve delivered to their customers? …I don’t know, but I’d be a lot more convinced of their value if I saw names and numbers…”

Col Email Pro Tip #4: Prove your worth by including some kind of social proof that demonstrates the benefit your product/service can deliver. Include a “mini case study sentence” that shows statistics that help quantify your value. Pointing to real results not only builds trust and credibility with your prospects, but also helps to ease their doubts, making it easier for your prospects to say yes.

Need more examples? Check out this post we did on crafting social proof sentences.

3 Cold Email Calls to Action that Get Responses

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SalesFolk_CTA

What type of impression are your cold emails leaving on your prospects?

If your emails have high open rates but aren’t getting any responses, you probably need to work on your calls to action.

Far too often people obsess about their email introduction and benefits/features, and neglect their calls to action (CTA). However, your CTA is the last impression your prospects have of you and your product/service, so it needs to be crystal clear and incredibly persuasive. If you don’t give your prospect clear instructions as to the next step you want to take, and neglect to incentivize them to respond, you’re wasting your time doing cold email. Be clear about the next step you want your prospects to take, so you don’t leave them confused or uninterested.

Instead of leaving your prospects bored and confused wondering why you emailed them, use these calls to action to help strengthen your pitch and push your prospects to respond.

1. Hold your prospects’ attention by keeping your calls to action short and simple

“When do you have time for a short call so I can learn a bit more about {!Company}’s sales processes and share my sales productivity idea with you?”

Your prospects are busy people. They probably only have a few minutes to skim through your cold email before they decide whether or not to hit the delete button. If your closing line is too long winded or unclear, you’ll turn them off.

To keep your prospects engaged, your CTAs need to be clear and to the point. Limit your CTAs to one or two sentences maximum. If your closing line is too long, your CTA will get lost and your prospects won’t understand what you’re asking them to do.

The shorter the better.

Your CTA is just a simple request.

Avoid including attachments like PDFs and video links. If your message is clear enough, your CTA doesn’t need the extra clutter. Your last impression should direct your prospect towards moving towards the next action step you want them to take. If you redirect them away from this you risk losing them. The farther you take your prospects from your core message, the more likely they are to forget your business’ benefit or lose interest completely.

2. Don’t overwhelm your prospects by asking too much

“{First}, let’s schedule a 10 minute call so I can share this idea with you. When works best for you?”

Your prospects receive dozens if not hundreds of emails every day. The last thing your prospects want is commit to another time consuming demo about a product they’re not certain about.

Instead of asking your prospect to schedule an open-ended call, set a time limit for your conversation. Asking your prospects for only 10 minutes of their time is a less threatening way to ask them to engage with you. It’s easier for your prospects to say yes when they know they won’t be stuck on the phone indefinitely.

If they say yes, be sure to honor this and not turn a 10 minute call into an hour though!

3. Entice your prospects by offering something of value

“When do you have 10 minutes so I can tell you a few other warning signs {{Company}} can look for to prevent churn?”

No one is excited to do a demo. (Unless it’s for oculus rift?)

Most cold emails spend too much time discussing product features. Your prospects don’t care about all the things your product can do or how many awards your company has won. If you want to get your prospects on the phone, they need to know that they’ll receive something of value in return for their time.

What’s the benefit? Why should they respond?

Prospects want to know how your product/service is worth investing a few minutes of their time. Asking them who the decision maker is outdated and overdone. Your CTA should clearly explain how your product/service can improve your prospects’ lives.

Whether it’s a few quick tips or sharing a new idea that will help improve their business, adding some kind of value will build credibility and trust with your prospects, making it easier to take the next step with you.

Be a goat, not a sheep!

We always strive to create captivating copy that is unique, actionable and adds value to prospects’ lives.

Want help with your cold emails? Request a call: