cold email hall of shame Archives

Mixed Messages You Shouldn’t Be Sending in Your Sales Emails

April 12, 2017 By Elizabeth Krisher 7 Comments

Just like with dating, the best cold emails make a point to be seductive. Your goal is to entice new customers into doing what you ask, whether that’s replying to your email, signing up for your newsletter, or making time for a call.

That’s why you need to provide your prospects with a clear and straightforward blueprint on next steps. Ending a date on a vague note leaves everyone feeling unsatisfied. The same is true for cold email: How can you lure someone in if they feel unsure of your intentions? Without a strong and singular call to action, your prospect may be confused or overwhelmed, making it less likely for them to respond.

Mixed messages, like the ones contained in this email, are better left unsent:

From the start, this email is impersonal, indifferent, wordy, and vague. More importantly, it’s unclear as to what the sender’s call to action really is… because there are eight.

Let’s take a look at where her requests went wrong:

1. Uses a boring, tepid hook

The sender opens with a vague statement that she is “following up to see what business we might do together.” Not only is this an incredibly snooze-inducing opening, it also implies a lack of preparedness on her part. Why is she emailing if she doesn’t already have an idea as to what business you can do together? Isn’t she the one seducing you?

2. Fails to incentivize

Her next ask, after a long-winded introduction to her unnamed company, is that you visit her website and watch a video about another company, LinkedIn. But does she really care?

By using lazy language like “If this is of interest to you” and “feel free to visit,” the sender makes it seem like she’s indifferent as to whether you follow through. Instead of leaving the invitation so open-ended, she should have incentivized you with added value. Imagine how differently this would read if she promised to share the company’s top secrets for generating hot leads!

3. Builds barriers to responses

But no. Instead, the sender asks you to request a custom proposal from her website, “if this makes sense for your business.” Is she just playing hard to get? A call to action should be simple and clear, and by asking you to take two steps—visiting her site and then requesting a proposal—she just made it less likely that you will respond.

4. Includes too many links

“I know,” the sender might think, “maybe you’d reply if you just watched the short video again.” Fun fact: 80 – 90% of readers will not click on links, so we don’t recommend including them. Plus, they can seem a bit spammy, especially when you include them more than once, as this sender does.

5. Fails to target her pitch

You should also request a custom proposal. Did she mention that already? This is starting to seem a bit self-serving, and no one appreciates a self-centered call to action.

6. Goes for a hand-off

If you are the exception, though, and this redundant generic email has you so intrigued that you want to hear more, the sender tells you that you can email her a lot of information and she’ll arrange a call for you with someone completely different. While a phone call is often the goal of a call to action, the sender’s hand-off approach is impersonal and doesn’t cast the sender, or her company, in a positive light.

7. Includes irrelevant info

That’s okay, though, because she invited you to mine her connections, if you want! Talk about blowing hot and cold.

8. Redundant, redundant, redundant

But really… did you watch the video? Because nothing says fun like a boring demo video.

It’s a lot to unpack, and with the sender delivering so many mixed messages, you can bet the prospect took a hard pass on that [business] relationship.

Have bad cold emails in your inbox? Send them to us!

Help us fight the thoughtless spammers, one crappy cold email at a time by sending us the worst cold emails you’ve ever received.

We’ll put them up anonymously on the “Hall of Shame,” and shoot you an email when they go live.

Please send all submissions to “[email protected].”
(And feel free to suggest what you want to nominate the “bad cold email for!”)

Why Domo’s Cold Emails Are Ugly and Spammy

September 19, 2016 By Heather 1 Comment

Domo is known for their great business intelligence technology, but apparently, some of their cold emails aren’t so great.

I received this strange and lazy cold email from them a few months ago. It immediately caught my attention because it’s unusually bad, but it contains many of the cardinal sins I see other B2B sales teams making.

Let’s take a look at what’s wrong with it:

Wow! …talk about overwhelming!

This ugly cold email is an attempt at an extremely strange and confusing breakup email. As you can see, it wasn’t even possible to fit this bad cold email’s screenshot into a single image, which gives you a sense of how hard it was to read on mobile.

Through this ginormous photo affixed inside their email, Domo attacks my eyes with every available feature they’ve got, without any attempt to give context as to who they are, what they’re talking about, or what they want.

What’s even stranger is that this email starts with the sender mentioning he’s previously reached out to me before, but this is the first and only email I ever got from him.

He’s using a lazy tactic and I’m calling “BS.”

Who would want to respond to a salesperson who’s taking such a thoughtless and self-focused approach?

Why this email made it to the front of our queue for “The Hall of Shame:”

The image is HUGE, giving it an especially spammy image/text ratio, dramatically increasing its chances it will wind up in spam
It’s super challenging to read, physically and mentally–with how busy the image and text is, there’s no way anyone could quickly glance and know what the heck is going on, or what the call to action is
If the image doesn’t render properly, most of the email’s information would be lost
I’ve caught the sender in a lie–they’ve never contacted or interacted with the recipient before

How to Fix This Bad Cold Email:

This strange attempt at a breakup email could be a lot better if they took out the eyesore of an image and replaced it with a link to a valuable resource (actionable content that’s less promotional). This would make it much easier for the reader to understand what the salesperson’s goal is, giving them much better chances of actually getting a response.

However, that would be my advice for a breakup email, but this email was actually the first email that this sales guy at Domo sent me, unless all the ones before this just caught in spam.

Have bad cold emails in your inbox? Send them to us!

Help us fight the thoughtless spammers, one crappy cold email at a time by sending us the worst cold emails you’ve ever received.

We’ll put them up anonymously on the “Hall of Shame,” and shoot you an email when they go live.

Please send all submissions to “[email protected].”

(And feel free to suggest what you want to “nominate” the bad cold email for!)

Why Presumptuous Emails Are Complete Turn-Offs

June 27, 2016 By Riley Huffman Leave a Comment

Hall of Shame Award: The Cold-Email Dictator

Why This Cold Email Won The Hall of Shame:

Talk about forceful! This email is the definition of a turn-off— who wants to be vaguely coerced into an interview without any details of the product?

It begins with a promise, a classic promise that this email will truly be the last email. That’s BS. Rambling on, it assumes a condescending approach coupled with strange formatting and the “heart stopping” dot dot dots- as if the reader and sender had been meddling over a deal for quite some time.

Aggressive much?

Although the sender guarantees a seemingly swift process (the reader simply responds with a specific date/time), it is clear that the reader is dealing with a stranger.

Who would want to follow up and trust someone who a stranger who has provided no social proof or value that is presumptuously dictating an exact interview time after we already haven’t responded to their previous emails?

Stop shoving words down the reader’s throat: Give the reader some breathing room.

Why this email fails and got on “The Hall of Shame”:

· From the start, the tone is obnoxious, “turning off” the reader
· Gives a regurgitated way to respond, as if the reader was interested in responding in the first place
· No detail or reminder about the sender’s product/service and the benefits their business offers

How to Fix This Cold Email:

The hook is everything, and this one suffered miserably. Instead, focus on an opening that targets the reader’s desires (perhaps a catchy sentence or an intriguing question).

Scratch the whole “I’ll do all the work, you sit back and relax” approach. Instead, invite the reader into a rapport that would eventually lead into scheduling an interview, rather than arranging one right off the bat.

Have bad cold emails in your inbox? Send them to us!
Help us fight the thoughtless spammers, one crappy cold email at a time by sending us the worst cold emails you’ve ever received.

We’ll put them up anonymously on the “Hall of Shame,” and shoot you an email when they go live.

Please send all submissions to “[email protected].”

(And feel free to suggest what you want to nominate the “bad cold email for!”)

Why Selfish Emails Never Work

February 2, 2016 By Riley Huffman 4 Comments

Hall of Shame Award: The Selfish Email That Lacks a Value Proposition

Above we have an email that is truly self-absorbed — it completely fails to captivate the interest of the reader, and instead focuses its message on finding someone to sell the product to with the classic “who’s the right person” approach.

The problem with that approach is that it’s not the 90’s anymore, and so when you attempt this method, people usually just think you’re lazy and just sending untargeted “mass-blasts.”

At the bare minimum, you at least need to tailor your cold emails to a specific buyer persona. Adding additional personalization beyond that will usually increase your odds of getting a response even more.

But no matter how personalized your cold emails are, they still won’t work if there’s no benefit or reason for the reader to respond.

The above email asks for a meeting, either with the reader or another associate of the company, three times, without ever taking into account the needs or priorities of the reader even once. The sender fails to address “What’s in it for the recipient”, and instead focuses only on “What’s in it for me.”

Why this email fails and got on “The Hall of Shame”:

Pretty self-centered
Not personable or tailored to buyer persona (even admits to “taking a stab in the dark here,” wow!)
A lot of features, but no strong benefits for the reader
Bullet points! These make the email feel like mass marketing instead of a conversation. (Bullet points always perform worse on cold emails!)
This email is all over the place, with no focus on a single benefit or idea.

How to Fix This Bad Cold Email:

Start by scrapping the vague, impersonal opener. Instead, start with a captivating sentence or thoughtful question that is targeted to the reader’s needs or pain points.

Adding more personalization would also go a long ways too. This doesn’t necessarily mean having a lot of different “custom inserts” for every prospect, but at least they could try to focus their message on the prospect more instead of being all about “Koalified Leads.”

This email also needs to focus on one clear benefit so it can be more compelling and effective.

Have bad cold emails in your inbox? Send them to us!

Help us fight the thoughtless spammers, one crappy cold email at a time by sending us the worst cold emails you’ve ever received.

We’ll put them up anonymously on the “Hall of Shame,” and shoot you an email when they go live.

Please send all submissions to “[email protected].”

(And feel free to suggest what you want to nominate the “bad cold email for!”)

Why Cramming Features Into An Email Gets You Nowhere

January 26, 2016 By Riley Huffman Leave a Comment

Cold Email Hall of Shame Award: “The Feature Paragraph Crammer”

This email goes on forever about “Clip features” without ever establishing rapport with the recipient in the first place.

In fact, the sender sent three cold emails repeating the entire paragraph on “Clip features” and the same call to action.

Talk about “mad recycling!”

They shove every single feature of “Clip” down the reader’s throat in hopes of converting a new user. If you were the reader, you might feel that the sender doesn’t care or understand how you can specifically benefit from using Clip. The sender automatically assumes you are on board with signing up….whether you actually want to or not.

Why this email fails and got on “The Hall of Shame”:

the intro joke is cheesy (sorry, didn’t like the joke!)
focuses way too much on the features
the call to action comes off as a desperate and non-genuine attempt to get readers to sign up

How to Fix This Bad Cold Email:

This email could be a lot better if it rambled less about all the features and picked one major benefit to focus on. That would make the email twice as concise and easier to digest for the reader.

Have bad cold emails in your inbox? Send them to us!

Help us fight the thoughtless spammers, one crappy cold email at a time by sending us the worst cold emails you’ve ever received.

We’ll put them up anonymously on the “Hall of Shame,” and shoot you an email when they go live.

Please send all submissions to “[email protected].”

(And feel free to suggest what you want to nominate the “bad cold email for!”)