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Here’s What Happens When Carelessness Takes Over a Cold Email

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Here’s a glaringly obvious fact about cold sales emails: they are not hard to write. Running a marathon is hard. Performing open-heart surgery is hard. Taking the time to research a prospective client and send them an email full of useful details is not hard.

So including clues—intentionally or not—that tell a prospect they’re part of an arbitrary mass list makes you look lazy and untrustworthy, and won’t help your response rate.

This company clearly didn’t consider that when it wrote its latest cold sales emails:

Let’s take a look at what went wrong and how this company could fix their future messages.

1. The recipient has to do all the work.

The first strike here is that instead of providing an explanation about what an “explainer video production company” is, the sender merely references a previously sent email. Maybe that message included an explanation; maybe it didn’t. The point is, the sender wants the recipient to go to the trouble of searching for that initial email, which is more work than you should ever make a prospective customer do.

Why? Because referencing an old email doesn’t count as an explanation—you can’t assume that the recipient saw any of your previous messages. Each email should be unique, with wording and benefits the recipient will relate to. Messages that need to be decoded almost never entice people.

2. The sender openly admits to doing no research.

Never include a line like, “PS: I don’t know where you are, but I’m hoping that you are not affected by the hurricane.”

Not knowing someone’s location underscores the fact that you didn’t research your prospective customers and that this message is part of a mass list. In the case of this email, it’s also callous. The message basically says, “I would love to sell you something even if your life was just severely impacted by a natural disaster.” I probably wouldn’t respond to this message on principle, even if it applied to my business.

Instead, the sender should have checked their recipients’ locations and adjusted the message going to those impacted by the recent hurricanes.

3. The sender relies way too much on filler text.

The second email from this company is more of the same:

SalesFolk Hall of Shame 12-21-2

You only have limited time (seconds, actually) to capture a prospect’s attention, so making them work through empty questions like the opening one of this email won’t inspire prospects to read on. The subject line here is also empty of meaning. (Also, why is there a crown involved?)

Finally, the end of this email takes up almost as much space as the main message itself. Telling someone to “hit the reply button” is pointless, even as a pleasantry. Even “let me know what you think about it” falls flat as a call to action (CTA). A better route for this sender would be a simple ask like, “When do you have 15 minutes this week for me to talk to you more about this infographic?”

Finally, there’s that smiley face at the end. I realize a lot of folks believe it can set a pleasant tone for the end of the email. As a salesperson, you should never rely on emoticons to set the mood of your emails. Your time would be way better spent brushing up on basic copywriting skills.

Read any bad cold emails lately? Send them to [email protected] for consideration, and we might include them in our next Hall of Shame post.

Mixed Messages You Shouldn’t Be Sending in Your Sales Emails

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Just like with dating, the best cold emails make a point to be seductive. Your goal is to entice new customers into doing what you ask, whether that’s replying to your email, signing up for your newsletter, or making time for a call.

That’s why you need to provide your prospects with a clear and straightforward blueprint on next steps. Ending a date on a vague note leaves everyone feeling unsatisfied. The same is true for cold email: How can you lure someone in if they feel unsure of your intentions? Without a strong and singular call to action, your prospect may be confused or overwhelmed, making it less likely for them to respond.

Mixed messages, like the ones contained in this email, are better left unsent:

salesfolk hall of shame email mixed messages

From the start, this email is impersonal, indifferent, wordy, and vague. More importantly, it’s unclear as to what the sender’s call to action really is… because there are eight.

Let’s take a look at where her requests went wrong:

1. Uses a boring, tepid hook

The sender opens with a vague statement that she is “following up to see what business we might do together.” Not only is this an incredibly snooze-inducing opening, it also implies a lack of preparedness on her part. Why is she emailing if she doesn’t already have an idea as to what business you can do together? Isn’t she the one seducing you?

2. Fails to incentivize

Her next ask, after a long-winded introduction to her unnamed company, is that you visit her website and watch a video about another company, LinkedIn. But does she really care?

By using lazy language like “If this is of interest to you” and “feel free to visit,” the sender makes it seem like she’s indifferent as to whether you follow through. Instead of leaving the invitation so open-ended, she should have incentivized you with added value. Imagine how differently this would read if she promised to share the company’s top secrets for generating hot leads!

3. Builds barriers to responses

But no. Instead, the sender asks you to request a custom proposal from her website, “if this makes sense for your business.” Is she just playing hard to get? A call to action should be simple and clear, and by asking you to take two steps—visiting her site and then requesting a proposal—she just made it less likely that you will respond.

4. Includes too many links

“I know,” the sender might think, “maybe you’d reply if you just watched the short video again.” Fun fact: 80 – 90% of readers will not click on links, so we don’t recommend including them. Plus, they can seem a bit spammy, especially when you include them more than once, as this sender does.

5. Fails to target her pitch

You should also request a custom proposal. Did she mention that already? This is starting to seem a bit self-serving, and no one appreciates a self-centered call to action.

6. Goes for a hand-off

If you are the exception, though, and this redundant generic email has you so intrigued that you want to hear more, the sender tells you that you can email her a lot of information and she’ll arrange a call for you with someone completely different. While a phone call is often the goal of a call to action, the sender’s hand-off approach is impersonal and doesn’t cast the sender, or her company, in a positive light.

7. Includes irrelevant info

That’s okay, though, because she invited you to mine her connections, if you want! Talk about blowing hot and cold.

8. Redundant, redundant, redundant

But really… did you watch the video? Because nothing says fun like a boring demo video.

It’s a lot to unpack, and with the sender delivering so many mixed messages, you can bet the prospect took a hard pass on that [business] relationship.

Have bad cold emails in your inbox? Send them to us!

Help us fight the thoughtless spammers, one crappy cold email at a time by sending us the worst cold emails you’ve ever received.

We’ll put them up anonymously on the “Hall of Shame,” and shoot you an email when they go live.

Please send all submissions to “[email protected].”
(And feel free to suggest what you want to nominate the “bad cold email for!”)

Why Extremely Vague Follow Up Emails Don’t Work

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why vague emails don't work

Cold Email Hall of Shame Award: The Extremely Vague Follow Up Email

This email is hilarious in that it tries to land a meeting with the prospect while giving literally no information.  It begins with a blatantly erroneous sentence — and asks the prospect for a meeting to chat about something he or she is completely uninformed about.  Assuming the recipient never saw your previous emails (if you did send them), then how would he or she know what the meeting is about, or who is sending this email to them?

Although the sender tries their best to assume familiarity, it’s pretty obvious that they’re still a complete stranger.

Why do they assume that the reader will want to schedule a call to “chat” with someone they don’t know anything about or trust.

This isn’t the “Craigslist personals.”

This thoughtless email is is obnoxious and is likely to piss people off and get them to hit the spam button.

Why this email fails and got on “The Hall of Shame”:

  • It’s incredibly vague and has no context around who the sender is or what they want
  • There’s no benefit to the prospect
  • It does not entice the reader to respond or take a call

Why Extremely Vague Follow Up Emails Don’t Work

How to Fix This Bad Cold Email:

It would be great if this email actually provided some kind of value to the reader. It would also help to give more context as to who the sender is, and ideally provide social proof to make the reader more inclined to trust the sender enough to actually want to write a reply.  

Have bad cold emails in your inbox? Send them to us!

Help us fight the thoughtless spammers, one crappy cold email at a time by sending us the worst cold emails you’ve ever received.

We’ll put them up anonymously on the “Hall of Shame,” and shoot you an email when they go live.

Please send all submissions to “[email protected].”

(And feel free to suggest what you want to nominate the “bad cold email for!”)

3 Cold Email Calls to Action that Get Responses

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SalesFolk_CTA

What type of impression are your cold emails leaving on your prospects?

If your emails have high open rates but aren’t getting any responses, you probably need to work on your calls to action.

Far too often people obsess about their email introduction and benefits/features, and neglect their calls to action (CTA). However, your CTA is the last impression your prospects have of you and your product/service, so it needs to be crystal clear and incredibly persuasive. If you don’t give your prospect clear instructions as to the next step you want to take, and neglect to incentivize them to respond, you’re wasting your time doing cold email. Be clear about the next step you want your prospects to take, so you don’t leave them confused or uninterested.

Instead of leaving your prospects bored and confused wondering why you emailed them, use these calls to action to help strengthen your pitch and push your prospects to respond.

1. Hold your prospects’ attention by keeping your calls to action short and simple

“When do you have time for a short call so I can learn a bit more about {!Company}’s sales processes and share my sales productivity idea with you?”

Your prospects are busy people. They probably only have a few minutes to skim through your cold email before they decide whether or not to hit the delete button. If your closing line is too long winded or unclear, you’ll turn them off.

To keep your prospects engaged, your CTAs need to be clear and to the point. Limit your CTAs to one or two sentences maximum. If your closing line is too long, your CTA will get lost and your prospects won’t understand what you’re asking them to do.

The shorter the better.

Your CTA is just a simple request.

Avoid including attachments like PDFs and video links. If your message is clear enough, your CTA doesn’t need the extra clutter. Your last impression should direct your prospect towards moving towards the next action step you want them to take. If you redirect them away from this you risk losing them. The farther you take your prospects from your core message, the more likely they are to forget your business’ benefit or lose interest completely.

2. Don’t overwhelm your prospects by asking too much

“{First}, let’s schedule a 10 minute call so I can share this idea with you. When works best for you?”

Your prospects receive dozens if not hundreds of emails every day. The last thing your prospects want is commit to another time consuming demo about a product they’re not certain about.

Instead of asking your prospect to schedule an open-ended call, set a time limit for your conversation. Asking your prospects for only 10 minutes of their time is a less threatening way to ask them to engage with you. It’s easier for your prospects to say yes when they know they won’t be stuck on the phone indefinitely.

If they say yes, be sure to honor this and not turn a 10 minute call into an hour though!

3. Entice your prospects by offering something of value

“When do you have 10 minutes so I can tell you a few other warning signs {{Company}} can look for to prevent churn?”

No one is excited to do a demo. (Unless it’s for oculus rift?)

Most cold emails spend too much time discussing product features. Your prospects don’t care about all the things your product can do or how many awards your company has won. If you want to get your prospects on the phone, they need to know that they’ll receive something of value in return for their time.

What’s the benefit? Why should they respond?

Prospects want to know how your product/service is worth investing a few minutes of their time. Asking them who the decision maker is outdated and overdone. Your CTA should clearly explain how your product/service can improve your prospects’ lives.

Whether it’s a few quick tips or sharing a new idea that will help improve their business, adding some kind of value will build credibility and trust with your prospects, making it easier to take the next step with you.

Be a goat, not a sheep!

We always strive to create captivating copy that is unique, actionable and adds value to prospects’ lives.

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